This is reality....I think.....Some days I think I am drowning! I usually try to look at things as temporary...like temporarily the babies are fussy....temporarily the dishes need to be loaded in the dish washer....temporarliy I need a shower....eventually everything gets done. But there are days like today where everything seems too much...the fact that I haven't even had a second to brush my hair or my teeth let alone take a shower today and it is already five in the afternoon...just overwhelms me!!
I didn't go to church today thinking the babies needed a day at home after seven days of travel....well...they have been held and played with so much on vacation that they expected the same attention from me. I love my babies dearly but enough is enough!! It is impossible to get anyting done with two babies who cry when they are set down or not being talked to or played with! THIS WILL NOT DO!!
So i sit here....with two babies watching me type on my computer thinking they need to be helping me as well. But dear friends....I needed to vent...to share my frustration I guess in hopes that by doing so things will seem better in the end.
Being a mom is a demanding job and yes I knew that going into this scenario. I do have four other children. But some days I long for the time when I used to be able to take a long shower when I wanted to and to go run five miles at any time of the day not just when I can manage to crawl out of bed before six AM. Some days teaching 32 fourth graders seems easier than raising twins properly!
But then I think about all the blessing they bring me and I know that I don't regret a single missed hour of sleep or mile run....Don't get me wrong I still let those thoughts linger in my mind once in awhile but mostly I try to tell myself...The grass always looks greener on the other side!!!
My house isn't as clean as it once was, my clothes often have spit up on them, gone are the days where my hair is fixed before I leave my room...but in their place are the smiles that greet me in the mornings and the hugs, smiles and sounds that I enjoy through the day. I grasp onto the thoughts of the relationships I share with my now teenage daughters and my grown son realizing the rewards that will be mine in the future and knowing these days will be gone in a blink of an eye! I know that these moments are fleeting...and try to get past the self pity and look forward to the special moments that will be in my memory forever....at least I don't remember feeling this way with my other children so I presume you don't remember the overwhelming times!!
I just hope I wake up tomorrow and it is a better day! The twins bed time is only two and half hours away....